Ross Edwards: Coach, Author, FounderIf you’re struggling to get things done, spend money on a whim, binge eat, binge drink and are always looking for that next high, keep reading because I’m going to share 8 examples of self-discipline and its importance for your self-transformation.
I’ve always understood that self-control is crucial, and in recent years I’ve reached levels of it that I believe to be quite rare. I’ll share my own experiences and insights into how I achieved that.
In writing this article I was inspired by Steven Pinker’s book The Better Angels of Our Nature, where he analyses the impact of self-discipline on violence. I want to share insights into self-discipline and its amazing effects, as well as 8 examples that clearly illustrate how it impacts your life.
What Self-Discipline is Not
If you have poor self-discipline, you might imagine it as being a kind of self-imposed punishment, or confinement, uptightness, and puritanism.
On the other hand, people often talk about fast, high-pleasure hits as though they were the spice of life. I hope to convince you this is a hoax, and I’ll cite several studies that show that the mentally healthiest people are those with high levels of self-discipline.
Truth is, all of us have a basic sense of what is good and not good for us, especially with the amount of information there is available nowadays on health. We just get complacent about it, and that lower, dog-like self within us drags us down. We fail to develop sufficient self-discipline, and our life begins to reflect our poor habits.
What is Self-Discipline?
Let me take Pinker’s definition from his book: self-discipline is the “willingness to choose larger late rewards over smaller earlier ones”.
In practice, this means you engage in actions that may not be the most immediately rewarding, such as exercise, or healthy eating, but which bring great rewards over the long term. Instead of staying at home eating Doritos and bingeing on Netflix (small, early), you choose to go out running (large, late). This is delayed gratification: you overlook those pleasurable hits that your dog-like nature craves and endure challenge for the sake of long-term gains.
Interestingly, self-discipline is a stable trait that differentiates one person from another, and is traceable to youth. But it is also developable, and we’ll talk about how to develop it.
When you get to the bottom of it, self-discipline is the ability to direct attention and energy into beneficial activities, rather than being directed by our dog-like desires, which revolve around intense, immediate pleasures.
When you master self-control, you’re able to identify when you’re wasting time, money and energy on activities that give high immediate pleasure but no long-term results or fulfilment, and re-engineer your life such that it’s aligned with more valuable pursuits.
The Shocking Science Behind It
Let’s look at some of the most interesting conclusions and concrete illustrations of what self-discipline is. These go well with the 8 examples of self-discipline further down.
There are a tonne of studies on self control. One of the most famous is the one by Walter Mischel. He offered each child in his sample one marshmallow now or two later, recorded their choices, and tracked the children over years, measuring their academic performance, recreation, relationships, finances and more.
His findings were remarkable. He found that a decade later those who choose the larger later option of two marshmallows were better adjusted, got higher SAT scores, and stayed in school longer. As adults a decade or two after that, they were less likely to use cocaine, had higher self-esteem, better relationships, dealt with stress better, got higher degrees, and earned more money.
A similar study has been repeated by many researchers. In it, adults are offered five dollars now, or forty dollars in two weeks.
The waiters weigh less, smoke less, exercise more, and are more likely to pay off their credit card every month.
If you prefer one marshmallow now to two later, or five dollars now to forty in two weeks, don’t fret. Sociologist Roy Baumeister showed that self-control is a muscle. Exercise of self-discipline brings temporary depletion of it, because it requires effort, just like lifting weights does. Yet over time it strengthens, and it retains its strength.
This is borne out by further studies. Participants who carry out self-discipline tasks for several weeks before such experiments show higher self-control on the day. They also show greater self-control in their lives as a whole, smoking less, drinking less alcohol, eating less junk food, spending less money, watching less TV, and studying more.
The Impact of Low Self-Control
The extent to which you lack self-discipline is the extent to which you’re a slave to your dog-like impulses. We’re all governed by them to some extent, and I’d be surprised if nobody had any vices at all, but it’s a matter of degree. Do they destroy your energy, passion and creativity? Do you find yourself incapable of achieving things that require sustained effort? If so, it might be that you lack self-discipline.
Society as a whole is pretty terrible with self-control. Nowadays with mobile phones, our self-control is put to the test constantly. We have a nice tempting doughnut in our pocket throughout our waking hours, one you can easily spend hours consuming. On the other hand, we now have an ever-present workout for our self-discipline. If you don’t succumb to this tempting vice, you strengthen your control muscles.
I believe that lack of self-discipline can destroy your life. You waste your life away consuming, consuming, consuming, never consciously directing your time and energy into anything. You aren’t investing into yourself. You prioritise shallow short-term pleasure over your life!
Learn how to be a ruthless autodidact.
8 Examples of Self-Discipline
Remember that self-discipline is choosing larger later over smaller sooner, and you’ll easily understand why these 8 examples point to excellent self-discipline. This is by no means exhaustive, but they’ll help you get a clear idea of what self-control is.
Healthy Diet: Eating healthy means you avoid the salt-, sugar- and fat-filled foods that abound nowadays and choose a less immediately pleasurable but much more nourishing diet.
Stimulant-free: Avoiding drugs and alcohol means you don’t get those quick hits but massively improve your long-term health.
Saving and Budgeting: Saving money offers no quick reward, unlike splurging does, but savings and interest can accumulate and reach surprising levels over time.
Meditation: this millennia-old practice offers few quick benefits, but the impact of a consistent, sustained meditation practice is remarkable.
Studying: who wants to spend their time studying and picking up new skills when you can just watch TV? But your skillset is one of your greatest professional assets and will pay huge dividends in the long run.
No Fap: it’s so much easier to give in to your sexual urges than to resist them and let the benefits of no fap multiply over time.
Measured Phone Use: as I mentioned, we have a giant, never-ending sugary doughnut in our pockets all day long. Slavish phone use puts you at the mercy of your mobile; measured use makes you a master.
Communication: it takes willpower to speak and communicate with purpose, dignity and presence, yet it can have remarkable benefits for your relationships.
Superhuman Self-Discipline: My Experience
I’ve experienced self-control as a snowball effect: the more bad habits I eliminate, and the more I focus my attention on my long-term goals, the easier it is for me to do so. I’ve almost mastered all of the 8 examples I gave.
I’ve been changing my habits and living a purer life for nearly a decade now, and this habit has snowballed to the point where I’ve given up my most pernicious habits quite easily.
Alcohol is a prime example. I used to drink fairly regularly from the age of 15 to 21. I couldn’t wait to get drunk. I would often be the drunkest at the party. I reckon I even had periods of mild dependency.
But when I got to age 21, I started to get into personal development and spirituality. At this point, my heavy drinking stopped, but I was still at its mercy. I had urges, and I’d still occasionally get drunk.
Roll on to today, and I’ve now gone almost four years without having a drink, and it has been shockingly easy. One day I suddenly made the decision to stop, realising that it wasn’t adding anything to my life. I’ve had no compulsion to take it up again, and I feel like a new person.
I’ve also quit pornography. That has been harder because it was a longer-term habit than the drinking. It has also been pretty easy, no doubt because I’ve had plenty of practice with self-discipline in recent years.
I find it easy to evaluate my habits, goals and time and make changes, and I can make bold decisions with certainty. I feel healthier than I have ever been.
I find it strange to see people who are hooked to unhealthy food, alcohol, smoking, their phone, or are scared to put into practice the 8 examples of self-discipline. I now look around and wonder: how can you be so at the mercy of your animal urges?
5 Strategies For Developing Self-Discipline
Let’s look at five strategies for how to develop self-discipline. These dovetail nicely with the 8 examples.
- Get a good, old fashioned grip on your life. Don’t look for fancy strategies. Get your stuff together and put your time and energy where you should be putting it. What do you want out of life? Why are you not putting time and energy towards it?
- Watch yourself getting activated, looking for those instant hits. It seems so important, a necessity, but it’s not. Your dog-like lower self is what desires them.
- Attack the easy areas first, trusting that your good work there will carry over into your most damaging habits. Start with habits that are recent or short-term and aren’t too serious, then slowly work towards your most formidable ones.
- Watch for the moments when you are tired. This is when your willpower muscle is at its tenderest (exercising willpower temporarily depletes willpower).
- Go for the long-term. Look at all the activities in your life, what you spend money on, etc, and ask if that’s really adding value to your life. Look at the 8 examples for inspiration.